The Thief Comparison

photo by YanYan Zang

Too often in our digital-all-access society it becomes too easy to compare ourselves to others. It's easy to see what someone else is accomplishing, creating, or doing and start thinking "Why am I not doing something like that?" or "Why am I not as successful at what I'm doing?"

I realized that this thinking is exactly what deters us from accomplishing great things for ourselves. The clearest example I can think of is years ago, when I started going to the gym. It had been a long time since I tied on my running shoes, but I wanted to get back in shape.

I bought a gym membership and treated myself to some new running shorts. When I arrived on my first day back, I couldn't help but notice the girl on the treadmill next to me. She was running really fast and didn't look in any better shape than I was (ha!) I thought, "She's running so fast! I should be running like she is."

And I'm sure you guessed it, that competitive scenario did not work out for me. I tried to keep up to her level and end up being frustrated when I ran out of breath and had to quit 10 minutes in. And shortly after a few more failed attempts, I gave up all together, thinking well "why bother, I won't ever be as fit as her. That's just not me."

Flash forward to years later and I finished my first triathlon last summer and Tough Mudder the year before that. Yeah, I'm pretty good at running now. But that took years of re-training not only my body but also my mindset of comparison.It started when I ran across a quote that really spoke to me, and changed it all.Instead of truly enjoying my own accomplishment of going to go to the gym at all, I crushed myself. 

Of course I wasn't going to be a great runner like that girl - she'd been there everyday for the last 6 months. I'd only been twice. I was being truly unfair in comparing my beginning to her middle.

Trust me, I believe it's important to draw inspiration from these places. That girl at the gym inspired me to go everyday, she inspired me to get after my own goal. These kinds of sources can be your greatest tools in drawing fire and driving your passion to do better.

Just don't take it to the next level. If you find your mind wondering towards comparisons, level the playing field. Try to imagine what that person's first step looked like - it probably looked a lot like yours. They struggled, had hard days, and made mistakes too. They probably still do! It takes patience, dedication and self-forgiveness to get to the top.

So remember you're just taking your first steps to whatever you're striving for. A dream career, a better relationship, a really amazing blog, whatever! Enjoy and above all, embrace where you are in your journey. Make sure to give yourself the best gift possible. The gift of time, understanding, patience, and kindness.

Give yourself a chance to succeed. You'll end up experiencing more joy along the way and find out what you're truly capable of.